I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
