new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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