I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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