and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
