the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
