WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
