Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
