we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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