I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
