Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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