Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
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I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
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Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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