Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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