So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
