How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
