you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
