She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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