We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize