Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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