I'm gonna have a badass scar
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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