Jerry, you need to find god
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
