she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize