I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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