How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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