If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
