It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
