I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just want to make out with him forever
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
