Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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