I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize