I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
