i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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