the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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