I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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