Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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