I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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