What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
