So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize