North Korea, Best Korea!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Pooping to opera.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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