Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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