That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
