singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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