dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
