it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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