Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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