on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
