that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Randomize
