wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
