Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
