If that was your dad, he is hot
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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