too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Randomize
