so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
