No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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