This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
