i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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