her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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