i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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