Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
