i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
