Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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