he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
it glows. i had to have it.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
