My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
