Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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