I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
