Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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