Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
